


I'm Too Broken to Fix You, Too

by slothfulswap



Category: Dead To Me (TV)
Genre: F/F, angst ig, fluff ig, holiday stuff, jen's a lesbian with comphet, judy doesn't label her sexuality, they eventually get together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:54:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24230143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slothfulswap/pseuds/slothfulswap
Summary: haha gay holiday shit
Relationships: Judy Hale/Jen Harding
Comments: 7
Kudos: 54





	I'm Too Broken to Fix You, Too

**Author's Note:**

> follow @dykeharding on twitter for more gay shit
> 
> thank you to noa and lee for proofreading

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> haha holiday (JH)²

Halloween has always been Jennifer’s favorite Holiday, from the activities to the aesthetic changes. October has always been her comfort month and when the boys were born it just got better. Before the boys were born, Halloween together was spent doing nothing but lounging around, which didn’t settle well with Jen. Call her childish but she wanted to do something! She wanted to go and carve pumpkins or hand out candy, but Ted didn’t even bother to buy candy for the trick or treaters. 

The first Halloween without Ted proved to be a lot better than she expected it to be, considering the fact she thought she’d spend it sobbing. The first Halloween without Ted was spent with Judy, Charlie, and Henry. Judy and Jennifer spent the time handing out candy together and sipping some wine. After the kids stopped coming around they went their separate ways, Judy to the guest house and Jen to her bedroom. It was a nice night. 

But Halloween’s come back around and Jennifer’s walking in the door with two pumpkins in hand. They’re gently placed down at the table and a huff is let out from the blonde. She places her purse down on the couch and Judy bounces out to the backdoor. They’d spent most of the 27th grabbing pumpkins; unfortunately, they were a bit late to the party and just barely found any good ones.

The boys are off at their grandma’s for this Halloween, giving Jen and Judy some adult time. Two wine glasses are pulled from the top shelf of the cabinet, then there’s a bottle of wine on the table. With some help from a wine opener, the cork is off and Jennifer’s pouring the wine into glasses. Judy comes back with a carving kit— that Jennifer didn’t even know she owned — in hand. The kit is tossed on the counter and Jen raises a brow.

“When the hell did you have time to buy this?” It’s asked with a quiet chuckle following soon after. Judy answers with a shrug and a candy bag being opened. A sucker is pulled out, to which Jen shoots her a look. “Those are for the kids, Jude.

“Yeah, so? doesn’t mean we can’t have a few!” Chucking a sucker at Jen’s head, Jen suppresses a laugh when it hits her.

The sucker is opened and the wrapper, along with Judy’s, is tossed in the trash. Judy’s already working on opening the package of carving tools, Jen expects nothing less from Judy as the packaging is carefully removed with barely in tears. After all the tools are placed out by Judy, Jen reaches into one of the drawers and pulls out a knife. A look of confusion washes against Judy’s features when locking eyes with the knife

“What’re you doing with that?” Eyebrows knit with more concern instead of confusion.

“Well, I fucking suck at anything even remotely crafty!” Jen flails the knife around like it’s not that big of a deal.

“You’re not gonna carve the pumpkin with that are you?” Her lips form more of a smile now.

“Well, I wasn’t planning on carving— Maybe more of a light stabbing?” She teeters her head back and forth in thought.

“Jesus, Jennifer!” But regardless, both break out into a burst of short-lived laughter.

“Hey, no! Who has the knife here?” It’s only a playful threat, she’d never do anything to truly hurt Judy— Not purposefully, anyway.

“My bad,  _ Jennifer _ .” The knife is thrust in Judy’s general direction and Judy’s hands shoot up in defense.

After another short-lived laughter, Judy takes a sip of her wine before starting to gut the pumpkin. Jennifer, on the other hand, doesn’t have the patience Judy has. The knife is forced through the pumpkin and for the first time in quite a while Jen looks relaxed. Maybe stabbing objects is a great form of stress relief.

Time passes quickly with both of them preoccupied. More wine is sipped and poured, they share a few stories, and exchange quick glances. Unfortunately, things take a turn as coordination decreases with every sip of alcohol. The knife glides against Jen’s finger and with a loud clang, the knife hits the table.

“Fuck, fuck me!” She applies a bit of pressure but it hurts far too much to do that. In an instant, Judy’s by her side trying to get a look at the damage. It’s just a nick but it still hurts like hell. 

Blood drips from the wound onto the pumpkin in front of her. The droplet travels down the pumpkin and onto the table, cueing Judy to lead Jen to the bathroom. Down the hall they pass updated family photos, ones with Judy included in them. Of course, old ones with Ted in them still hang, but it’s for the boy’s sake.

Reaching the bathroom, Judy instructs Jen to wash the cut. It isn’t life-threatening but they don’t want it to get infected. While she washes up, Judy grabs the first aid before commanding Jen to sit on the rim of the tub.

“I could’ve done this myself—” Jen reminds her.

“Sure you could, but I’m not gonna let you.” The floor is where Judy takes her seat, first aid in her lap.

Peroxide is pulled from the container and Jen holds her finger over the tub. Judy takes the cap off the bottle to pour some on Jen’s finger. A quiet wince is all Jennifer lets out in response. The liquid bubbles meaning it’s cleaning out any infection.

“How drunk are you?” Is asked with a quiet laugh.

“Not even! I’m just buzzed promise.” Once the liquid stops fizzing, Judy pulls out a bandage and wraps up Jen’s finger.

“All better!” Leaning down, Judy kisses the bandaged finger.

It becomes deathly silent in the room after that. After lifting her head up, Judy and Jen make eye contact. Judy can tell she’s thinking about what happened, trying to pick at what it means. It was nothing more than a stupid kiss, someone simple, something platonic.

Lunging forward, Judy pulls her in for a kiss, but it isn’t reciprocated. They both taste like wine except for the hint of cherry from Jen’s lip balm. Jennifer gently shoves Judy off of her shaking her head. 

“No, Jude, I’m… I’m not gay.” But she’s not sure who she’s trying to convince more. 

“Fuck! I’m so sorry— I just thought...” Judy stands to her feet and backs away, afraid she just messed everything up. “I can..? I can go?”

At a loss for words, Jennifer stands from the tub, shaking her head once more. She simply leaves the room and walks toward the kitchen. It needs to be cleaned up and she doesn’t want to think about the kiss. She doesn’t want to talk about the kiss. The kiss made her feel something, something she doesn’t want to even acknowledge. Out of the bathroom comes Judy in tears. Walking up to her, she tugs Jen’s sleeve.

“Jen! Jennifer, at least talk to me, please!” A tear strays loose and Jen can’t help but wipe it away. Hushing her, she pulls Judy into a hug.

“I don’t hate you, it’s just fucking complicated, okay?” With a nod, Judy buries her face in the crook of Jen’s neck. “I’m not even upset with you.”

“You’re not?” She peeks up, eyes pleading.

“No, it’s like I said—” But she’s cut off.

“Complicated,” Judy finishes

“Exactly! Now, let’s clean up, the boys are going to be home soon.” Patting Judy’s back, she pulls away from the hug.

————————

The kiss, why can’t she stop thinking about that stupid fucking kiss? It’s not like she thinks of Judy in that kind of light, she’s straight! She reaches her hand up and gently brushes her lips with her fingertips. It’s almost like she can still feel the kiss, but it’s been a few hours now. Her lips were so soft— like nothing Jen’s ever felt before — but that’s her best friend, and again, straight. Then why are there butterflies fluttering in her stomach? Why can’t she stop thinking about how Judy pressed her body up against her own? Why can’t she stop wanting to do it again?

Being pulled out of her thoughts, Jennifer reaches over and turns off the light, hoping to get some sleep. But how can she when all she can think of is Judy. How good smelled, how she tasted in the moment, how she felt, how Judy’s hair brushed against her cheek. Judy. Judy. Judy. But that’s wrong— Well, it’s not wrong, it’s wrong for her though. She’s not supposed to be gay! For fuck's sake, she has two kids and had a husband. It’s almost like the world is playing some sick joke on her.

She tosses and turns for a good few minutes before finally getting comfortable. A deep breath is let out as eyes close and breathing slows, soon enough she’s asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> ALL I CAN WRITE IS HOLIDAY SHIT OKAY
> 
> anyway ill get the next chapter out asap


End file.
